theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I can't hang out tomorrow. A boy wants to feed me ice cream and touch my boobs. Priorities.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
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