I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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