So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
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