Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
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