Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
You drew a self portrait of yourself on his wall with sharpie.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Chicks, chicks everywhere, and not a drop to drink. Dude, when did real life lesbians get HOT?
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
Randomize