I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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