I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize