Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Don't worry, I'm preparing for tonight by lining my purse with a garbage bag.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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