Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
I didn't slap you in the face. TEQUILA slapped you with my hand...
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
She wants to fuck me. On a tennis court. In her tennis outfit. Is ring-shopping an acceptable 3rd date activity?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
This lady gave me four cups to go along with my gallon of daiquiri. Silly girl, all I need is a straw.
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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