Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Just caught my dad doing coke in my bathroom again. Guess whose getting a new car for christmasss.
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
why is there a chinchilla in our apartment, and where did it come from?
question nothing. DON'T QUESTION A FREE CHINCHILLA.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize