She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
Leaving the puke on the ceiling as a reminder.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
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