you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you told him to eat candy out of your ear instead of your vagina because you had your period. never. drink. AGAIN.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you wake up in your dorm right outside your room with the key in the door, then you will understand my pain.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
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