I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yep. My memoirs will be called "A Slore Worth Mentioning"
I faked more orgasms with him then ever should be allowed for someone this pretty.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize