You left a skid on my bar stool!!!!
Oops! Sorry about getting stool on your stool!
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
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He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
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