Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Randomize