party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
You're the only person I know who would be upset about making out with a girl you like. You're like a drunken Charlie Brown.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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