Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize