I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Did you just see the Batmobile???
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
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We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
Russian roulette. Between salvia and weed. You in?
FUCK YOU MAN
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Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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