Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
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