She's perfect. Funny, gorgeous, 3 tats, been through a lot, bright. I'm in love.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
All he did was lie there and used his hands to keep pace. He was like the metronome of sex.
I want you to tape your fingers together and give me a lobster claw hand job.
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I can't really talk right now. I'm getting on a plane to Oregon to go give a guy a bj. I'll see you in three days.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
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You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
Planning a vacation around my dog. I have become one of those dog moms.
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