we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I was living a snoop dogg song I fucked her on the floor so I wouldn't mess up my bed
i think god would be more upset with me for turning down such a beautifully crafted cock than he would for me liking girls
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
How is it that 364 days a year I'm the adult, but on Halloween you completely forget how to have fun and become my grandma?
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize