I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
She just tricked me into telling her the balance of my 401k... She's like a gold digging jedi mind trick ninja
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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