Fine. I'll sleep in my office
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Before he left he told me if his girlfriend ever finds out, she'll take us both to an alley and kill us.
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Randomize