I'm lost and stupid without you.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I'm passing your future prison.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
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You know... If I put the same amount of effort into school as I put into giving women orgasms I would be a Rhodes scholar
Just had a drunken guest at my hotel threaten to "throw a fuckin fireball at my face"
day 8: i just gave goat a piece of pineapple soaked in rum. as an animal science major, im ashamed. as a normal person, it was awesome.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
You know you're fucked up when you decide to pour fireball whiskey in your vegetable beef soup
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
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