he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
Well It's time to grow up anyways, right? Now that you're graduated and have a job you can't drink uncontrollably
No. Now that I'm graduated I can drink uncontrollably at nicer bars
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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