like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
God I need to hump something, right now.
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
the raccoons are back...
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