So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
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I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
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so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
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