The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Are you in a cab?
I'm close- can you order me a bowl of vodka?
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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