Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
That's what happens when you let Keystone Light make your decisions.
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
drunk enough to drink jager bombs out of a bowl on the kitchen floor.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
You see it tends to piss fathers off when they find their daughter in the arms of a shirtless guy that neither he nor his daughter knows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize