At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
The chlamydia really affected his face.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
I had a dream I got back with Amanda. And then cheated on her the same day. Even my conscious is a dick
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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