You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
i am fully taking advantage of taking advantage of him
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
he convinced me that i wont have to do the walk of shame bc he has to go to jail in the morning
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
He drinks vodka like healthy people drink water and I wanted to have his adopted gay babies. That's all. I'm going to go find him and potentially propose.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize