i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
I hope mine doesn't look like that
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We'll both be dead in approximately 72-96 hours, with you bringing your liver out of retirement again, Favre.
Also managed to rip my pants and set myself on fire. And oddly enough I'm still not ready to ask for 2010 back.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
Shirtless guy staggering down the sidewalk, puking into a Prada shopping bag. Ahhh, the walk of shame in Boystown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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