Taking a 35 year old indonesian home, only in vegas ;-)
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Sometime between a drunk guy asking me if I'm a Beach person or a lake person WHILE HIS HAND WAS IN HIS FUCKING PANTS or breaking up a lady fight over peewee football league I started to reevaluate my life and self
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
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