I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're gonna have screwdrivers in a cab at 4am?
Is that weird?
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a good thing you're straight. You'd make a horrible lesbian.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize