how was the sex?
he smelled like pickles and burnt hair.
well, there's that.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
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I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
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Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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