I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
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I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
BTW waking up to a picture of you taking a shot of what I can only assume was shitty lukewarm liquor out of a blow up dolls butt made my day
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
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I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
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