READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
As weird as that was it was probably the best advice i've ever gotten from a tranny
the most drunk i have ever been? possibly. the most drunk i have ever been on a monday? definently.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I wanna get shitfaced and yell about Tim tebow
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
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