I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
theres gunna be a new season of 16 and pregnant on mtv...WHERE DO THEY KEEP FINDING THESE IGNORANT PREGNANT GIRLS
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Why can't it ever be the normal ones that stalk me?
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
I think i got beer on your cat.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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