Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
I booty called her while she was in labor.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
It's shark week go big or go home
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