I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Had her hockey skates on in the house. Whole floor is ruined.
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i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
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I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
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