I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
So are you still down for me to come stay with you and just have sex on vicodin all weekend?
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you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
In retrospect, vomiting out of a moving vehicle on the third date should have been a deal breaker
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
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