A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
do you think mom is upset that i left with the stripper from her bachelorette party last night?
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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