i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I have to lie to someone and move five gallons of fermenting alcohol across campus but after that i'll hit you up 4 sho
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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