Full bush! Can't stay! Need ride! Come on bro!
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
His blow is so strong I threw up. Buy it. I'm in nursing school I know what I'm talking about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Well the walls are thin and I can hear the couple next door having sex. I think their dog is somehow involved.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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