I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Yep just saw a license plate that read "taint 2" which implies there is a "taint 1". Only in Florida
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By the way anyone who is willing to be in the film while tripping gets free shrooms.
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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