i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
I'm drinking in the hospital parking lot.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
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