Rock
Scissors
Fuck
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
We all know tonight is going to end like every other night with you. drunk, pantless and confused. Dont try to switch things up.
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
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