Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
this party is nice, but i have to go home and cry over anime in order to fill my daily quota of suffering
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
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