He was like an evil genius with the clitoris. I don't stand a chance.
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
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I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I managed to convince her that the egg yolks were actually orange juice and she fell for it
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