I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
There's trophy wives that arent even in the 5th grade yet
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, totally got laid in my yellow rubber boots and it was awesome.
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Randomize