And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Do you think there are girls out there that really do like small penis?
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's accurate though. I am legitimately passionate about pickles. I crave pickles the same way I crave sex. It is a deep rooted animalistic need
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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