so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
You've slept with someone mentioned in the NY Times, that officially makes you the most famous person I know.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
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